Good Guys’ is located in the mystical land on the canal known as North Tonawanda. Where if a man can’t find his cougar at Crazy Jake’s after an ICP show at The Riviera, he can mosey right around the corner to Alexander’s and find some solace in the form of a $20 lap dance and a chat about the Bills with one of the portly sweat-suited regulars that are sure to be there. Or you can just go to The Rainbow Rink and get your roller disco on. When 2am hits we can all stroll across the bridge to Tonawanda where the party don’t stop until 4am, albeit a much less fascinating area. What a country! Anyhow, Good Guys’ isn’t located anywhere near all that action, but I’ve completely exhausted my knowledge of things that go on in NT.

Now right here is the pizza. Let’s talk about the pizza. Can we talk about the pizza, please Buffalo?!? I’ve been dying to talk about the pizza with you all day, ok? First of all, I hit Good Guys’ at an odd hour (3:15pm, I think) and I hadn’t eaten all day. I was hungry. The box these came out in could have held a small pizza and it felt like they dropped 2 bronze statues of slices in there. The assurance of knowing you’re about to go from famished to overly full is gluttonous, orgasmic, and part of the American way, goddamnit. U.S.A!

Really wish I had something better for scale. Those who know can tell you. These are Billy Fuccillo status. Huge. Should also mention they look incredible. 2+pop = $7.67 is a steal for what you’re getting. Let’s get to the categories.

Good Guys’ pepperoni is laid on heavily in a way that would suggest the chef has Parkinson’s. It is very good stuff. That being said, I still think the little grease cups would work better here, but everybody has their thing. These are a little thin, and don’t have as much flavor as the other variety, but they’re still delicious.

What is your favorite Buffalo-Style pizza dough? Oh really? That’s a good choice. Good Guys’ is better than that dough. The fluffy:chewy ratio is perfect. It was heavy, but didn’t ball up into a dough bomb. It soaked in just a little of the sauce and god, it was just great. Reeeeeally great.

All clear on the bottom deck, captain. This is just adding to the greatness. This is that pan pizza type underside that comes from a quantity of butter/oil that you don’t want to know about, a hot oven, and love. It’s crispy and delicious like good bread crust.

Good Guys’ happens to know the quantity in which I prefer sauce to be distributed. Via truckload. If you’re going to serve something with the kind of heft that could be equated to pizza-cake, you’re gonna need to frost that bitch with the good stuff. With a crushed tomato consistency and a semi-sweet herby flavor, you’re going to want a spoonful of this with every bite you take, and that’s what’s delivered. It’s fresh, it’s hip, it’s what the kids dig. A touch too sweet for me, but I have a low tolerance for it so it’s probably perfect for most.

The cheese is by far the most intense aspect of the Good Guys’ slice. They hands down put more cheese on their pizza than any place I’ve ever been to or seen. 40% of the weight behind these bastards probably comes from the cheese. If I had a dollar for every “holy shit” uttered during this review, I could have had the slices free. It’s like biting into a hot mozzarella stick over and over. It’s damn good mozzarella, but I couldn’t help but wonder…

…is this too much cheese? This wizard beard of cheese is a lot. The leftmost pepperoni is the actual edge of the dough. I hate myself for even thinking this, but it might be a little overboard. I had no trouble eating it, and it certainly isn’t going to destroy what will surely be a great score in the category, but it was almost cumbersome in some bites. A couple of bites were just cheese alone, about which I’m not sure how to feel. Well I’ve written entirely too much, so let’s wrap this bitch in a bow and call it a week, eh?

Dough🥖: (A/A+) I can’t go full A+ strictly because I prefer thinner hybrid Buffalo/NYC doughs, but this is the mark that all buffalo-style pizza should aspire to.
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Cheese🧀: (A-/A) It was creamy chewy and packed a lot of flavor…but maybe a little overboard? Please don’t hurt me.
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Sauce🥫: (A) Great consistency, flavor, and quantity. A touch too sweet for me.
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Pepperoni🍖: (B+) Really good, but a little thin. I think cup & char may have been a better option.
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Overall🍕: (A-/A)

If you want to eat the most intense, heaviest, most overindulgent and blown out slices in the Buffalo area, treck your ass out to NT and prepare to choke yourself out on farts all the way back to wherever it is you reside. Eating Good Guys’ is like eating a delicious pizza cake. I don’t want to know the caloric value of these slices, because I probably would have jogged back to the city. Although every ingredient was maxed out, they were all individually amazing, and that’s what kept it an excellent slice regardless of size. This will absolutely be a new staple for me every time I’m in the area. I hear the wings are dope on a rope as well. You think they deliver to Xanders? Thank you, Good Guys’! It was an experience.