LaPorta’s is in the Williamsville/East Amherst area as far as I can tell; although I’m sure someone will get butthurt and correct me on it. “IT’S SOUTHWEST SWORMVILLE!”. Whatever you want to call it, I hauled my ass 25 minutes North of the Mason-Dixon in the rain based on the suggestions of you fine individuals so don’t let me down, sport, or dad might have to miss a few of your softball games in order to make a point. Anyhow, they’ve got a nice little dining area in here that happens to serve beer, which I should have ordered in hindsight. 2 Slices (one Buffalo Chicken) and a flat diet coke later = about $6.50. Never pass up the chance to drink a sweet sweet Coor’s heavy. Ould have been a banquet. Lesson learned. Let’s observe.

Ok, so I’m kind of bummed. These babies look more than a little worse for wear. I don’t know if it’s because people don’t typically get slices at dinner time (it was about 7pm), but both of these look like they’ve sat for a few hours. LaPorta’s keeps their pies in an uncovered rack, and judging from first glance I don’t think it’s a great system for moisture retention. It just looks kind of dried out…much like my analogies for pizza descriptions. HEY-O!

LaPorta’s pepperoni are ok. A category that when it hits really adds a lot to the slice. Regardless of that spicy porky flavor, people eat with their eyes and cool pepperoni are a sexy work of art. These are just ok, and there are far too few. That’s that.

LaPorta’s dough slides in right where I like it (meow). A rare and awesome mix between crispy thinness and chewy thickness. The dough reminds me of Lock City, Bob & John’s, Casa, etc. It’s a beautiful thing when done right. Another little factor I tend to fetishize…

…CORNMEAL! Just a light dusting, but when you have a billion pizzas in one market the little stuff is what’s memorable and important.

Here we have the nice fluffy crust section, too. You can see all the layers in the golden ratio here. Crisp thin bottom, thick and fluffy above, topped with a thin layer of chewiness. Sorry I’m harping on the dough, but it’s pretty much the highlight of the slice. On to the lowlight.

LaPorta’s cheese got murdered in that CD rack of a holding system they’ve got going on. Even the Buffalo Chicken slice was dry as a fart and the cheese just fragments like tectonic plates. It was grainy and dried out. It was still very much edible and had solid flavor, but my god the wait time just killed this category.

Back on that positive train. This sauce is good shit. This is on the polar opposite range of sweet sauce in as much as that I think it would really turn off those who don’t like intensely herby and savory sauces. Goddamn Garden of Eden was packed into this sauce. There is a lot going on and it is pungent with Italian spices. I really dig it, but I don’t know if everyone would. I only want what’s best for you, pudding pop. On the negative side, the slice could use a tablespoon more of it. Let’s draw up the game plan and go for the win, kids.

Dough🥖: (A-/A) This is right where I want my dough to be, but maybe a little more cornmeal and somewhat more cooked.
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Cheese🧀: (C/C+) Really got crushed here due to sitting out. I’m sure it’s great fresh, but that’s not what I’m reviewing.
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Sauce🥫: (B+/A-) I know I talked it up and it was great, but truth be told there just wasn’t a ton of it. Maybe it dried up a bit?
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Pepperoni🍖: (C/C+) Only a few to speak of, and they didn’t bring a lot to the party.
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Overall🍕: (B-)

LaPorta’s is another example of why it’s important to remember these reviews are for SLICES and not whole pizzas. Some people do slices just out of obligation, and most, if not all their game is in whole pies. I saw some full pizzas going out the door when I ordered and they looked really good, but the slices simply sat too long in a bad environment and the categories that are the first to suffer did so (cheese in particular, and the sauce could have scored even higher). If I were in the area, I wouldn’t hesitate to order a full pie from LaPorta’s. They serve my favorite hybrid dough style with sauce that’s heavily herbed and savory. If the cheese and topping were on target, we’re looking at an “A”. However…slices don’t seem to be the play here. Thanks for the service, LaPorta’s! See you next week for #49, Buffalo. Just four more to go!