Artone’s is located on Seneca street in Kaisterown, which has got to have the most pizzerias per capita in WNY. Before all you Northtowns residents get your panties in a bunch, I visited FOUR pizzerias well north of Hertel Ave this weekend looking to score slices on the sly, and none of them had any available, much less Cheese & Pep. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO WORK WITH THAT? So I crawled back to the pizza den of the South. Luckily after farting around Kaisertown for a few minutes I hit Artone’s, which was an unscheduled stop during these last few reviews…but fuck it. Like the good Dr. Brule said, can’t date a pretty girl AND own a jetpack. Closed then reopened under new management, Artone’s is still slangin that 2+pop=$5 deal, which is a hard find these days so good on you fellas. Apparently they dish out the best steak hoagie you’ve ever had, but that isn’t my game and it isn’t what this is all about. Let’s get to the point.

Only paralleled by Christmas morning. That feeling when you expect to get a pair of socks or half empty flask of Jim Beam (thanks uncle Rick), but you actually unbox a Nintendo 64. I admit my expectations were not high because I’ve never even heard of Artone’s…but hot damn these look fine. I don’t know what $5 of pepperoni looks like because I haven’t seen a need to buy it in the past year…but I imagine this is in the ballpark. Also, just the details are nice. The herbs, the fennel, the browned cheese. The damn thing even smells like quality. I’m hip to it. I’m tantalized. I’m intrigued. Let’s eat.

Ok, so let’s cover these pepperoni and how they’re the greatest pepperoni ever. Actually, you know that pretty much does it. Fatty, chewy, crispy, well spiced, and applied to form a meat blanket. Tuck me in, lord. I’m ready to go. That’s a 10.

This is a pepperoni I found hiding UNDER the cheese…our little secret.

Artone’s dough is a little squishy and bready, but nowhere near a thick as some of the other classic buffalo-style pizzas I’ve had, so it never got re-god-damn-diculous. Still a little soft for my taste, but that’s the way she goes. It was executed well.

Bottoms is bottoms. The browned sections are really where all the flavor in the dough comes from. The rest is just for texture and chew, really. Take note you uncrustable eating heathens. GROW UP.

The cheese is incredible. It wasn’t piping hot when it came out of the warmer so you’re not going to get those sweet pull shots that rake in the instagram favorites, but it was still nice and warm and delicious. It’s got that awesome meld going on where the sauce and cheese combine in places to make an orangish-red amalgamation that is just the bee’s knees. Casa Di Pizza had that going on bigtime, bud. Also, they hit it hard with the heat. From the counter I thought it might have been burned looking into the warmer, but it just has a really good brown and bubble going.

Here, friends, is where a few of us tend to disagree. Passionately, might be an understatement as an adjective for the monumental rift that we’ve got going on here. This sauce is sweet, thick, and tangy. If any of that is your game, then pick up your sticks and play. This sauce just isn’t my thing. It’s a staple in a lot of WNY favorites like Imperial and Pizza Oven, but it has always turned me off just based on preference. Can’t ding too much of the score based on preference, but damn we would be hitting the high marks overall if I was in to the sauce. Let’s examine the figures, yes?

Dough🥖: (B+) Squishy, but that’s what comes with the territory. Thinner = better than the norm.
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Cheese🧀: (A) Browned, bubbly, saucy mix. Could have been hotter to get some more pull.
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Sauce🥫: (B-/B) A style I don’t enjoy. Sweet, thick, and tangy. Purely a preference gripe here.
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Pepperoni🍖: (A+) Doesn’t get any better. Chewy, crispy, fatty, salty, herby, and you couldn’t fit another piece on if you tried.
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Overall🍕: (A-)

Ok, so there was one thing that was pretty undeniable throughout the whole experience of eating Artone’s that I have to get off my chest…and that is that it was nearly identical to Imperial pizza. As a matter of fact, I preferred it over Imperial and it was a better deal. I don’t know who leaked the recipe, but if you compare the look and flavors, I mean come on. Somebody squealed under the possible duress of some James Bond-esque ball torture. If Imperial has been your lifelong go to, I recommend you give Artone’s a shot. I personally wouldn’t say either is a top location for me just because of personal preference, but if you think Imperial is a contender for #1, than these guys should be right up there in the argument. As always, the guys were really friendly and I’m happy I had the chance to stumble upon some great slices. Get out there and give them a shot. Thanks so much, Artone’s!